Thunder and Magic
by ThatFunkyPsycho97
Summary: A Thorki Thor/Loki story. A few months after Loki's unpopular return to Asguard, he is thrust into a world of confusion as his emotions run amok... with his brother at the centre of things.
1. Chapter 1

The God of Mischief woke up with a squawking gasp. His heart pounded heavily and rapidly, and sweat beaded on his bare chest and face. His mind was still reeling from his dream, part of him screaming "_This cannot be! This cannot be!" _whilst the other was silent with shocked bliss.  
Loki took deeper breaths and tried to remember what his dream had been about. The very few details that came to mind were seemingly useless, but they sent pangs of longing through him- there was a memory of being close to someone else, a memory of feeling their heartbeat through his hands, and of… something licking his face?  
Loki frowned, still staring at the roof of his bed chamber. Anything licking his face that wasn't a dog or snake was just creepy. So why did he feel so pleased about it?  
He lay there for a few moments more, trying to make sense of his bizarre experience. Unable to draw a satisfactory conclusion, he shrugged and started to pull himself out of bed.  
His eyes widened and he froze as he felt something slightly damp on his trousers. This hadn't happened since his teenage years- he thought that he had outgrown something so shameful.  
"Shit!" He whispered in frustration. He pulled the fabric of his trousers away from his hips to spare his skin the unpleasant coolness and scurried into the gold and bronze washroom. He twisted his left wrist and muttered "Laguz" as he tugged off his trousers. Water flowed from cleverly concealed holes in the gold tub, steaming in the cool Norse air. Before it was even a quarter full he slithered in and began to scrub himself with a firm bristled brush, desperate to scrub the shame from his very skin.  
Soon he was raw and pink everywhere, and still feeling dirty. He obsessively scraped the brush across his hips, accidentally breaking the delicate skin. He swore loudly as blood swirled into the water, throwing the brush to the tiled floor and sliding deeper into the bath. He glared at the ceiling, feeling inexplicably angry and wanting to cry.  
He slowly moved his hands across the surface of the water, sighing in confusion and frustration at his current situation. If he could just remember the bloody dream, maybe he could finally discover what he really wanted! He rubbed his face with his hands, and then pushed his hair behind his ears. He shut his eyes and leant back, only to quickly sit back up again as he realized he could remember the dream.  
He leant back and shut his eyes again. When he was comfortable he began to mutter a string of words over and over again, until he lulled himself back to sleep. The dream began at once…  
The booming knocks on the door of Loki's bed-chamber startled him from his reverie. The water of the bath had long since gone cold, but Loki didn't care. He was too caught up in his own sense of disbelieving horror. _Surely it can't be… It can't be! _  
Another round of booms resounded in the next room.  
"What do you want?" Loki shouted in anger, looking in the vague direction of the door.  
"The King wishes to see you," a guard answered. "He wants you to come immediately!"  
"Well, tell him I'm busy!" Loki called back, panic clear on his face.  
"He will not accept any excuses. You are to come now!" the guard called back, obviously getting impatient.  
Loki bared his teeth as he finally recognized the voice of Blagden. Blagden was one of the few people of Asguard who bore no resentment to Loki, but he was very stubborn and made sure that his orders were completed.  
"Alright! I'm coming now!" Loki shouted, smashing his fist into the water of the bath in anger.  
He slipped out of the bath, snatched a soft towel from the bench and patted himself dry. He wrapped the towel around his waist and stalked out of the washroom to his wardrobe and tugged on a pair of underclothes. He rattled the bell mounted on the doorway of the wardrobe and at down on the stone bench in the middle of the room, waiting for the servants to come and dress him. In the short space of time it took for them to arrive, he ran over the dream again in his head. His cheeks turned pink, and then red and he rubbed his face again. _Oh Yggdrasil, what has happened to me?_  
He jumped as the servant's door burst open and Nir, Ibnil and Sorf jogged in.  
"We are sorry we are late, but Nir could not pull himself away from the dining table." Ibnil snapped at Nir.  
"You are just as attracted to those oatcakes as I am, if not more!" Nir snarled back.  
The two servants began to quarrel, and Loki secretly blessed their quick tempers. Anything to delay seeing Thor.  
"For Odin's sake, you two just—STOP FIGHTING!" Sorf roared, grabbing fistfuls of his red corkscrew hair and tugging at it, almost ripping it out.  
The two stopped arguing, but their eyes shot daggers.  
"Good. Now, Loki," Sorf began tiredly, "let's get you dressed."  
The three servants pulled on layer after layer of garments, finally clicking on plates of armor to the outermost mail shirt.  
"Ready for a day of kingly duties." Nir said proudly. He hefted the heavy, horned helmet and asked "Helmet or no helmet?"  
"No helmet." Loki said emphatically. That thing was far too heavy to lug around during day-to-day activities.  
"Fair enough. I don't know why you bother with such ridiculous wear…" Nir shook his head and returned the helmet to its bust. Ibnil proffered a jar of oil. "Do you want your hair oiled?"  
Loki shrugged. "Why not?"  
Ibnil dipped a comb into the oil and ran it through Loki's hair, shaping it to his skull neatly.  
"Perfect." Sorf sighed. "Well, we have to go finish decorating Holle's chambers."  
Loki nodded- Holle was having a child and a small celebration was being prepared for her family and close friends. "Enjoy yourselves," Loki smiled. "And thank you for dressing me," he added in the short and awkward pause that followed.  
"It was nothing, Loki. We shall see you later!" The three servants disappeared.  
Loki glanced at himself in the mirror- pale complexion, black hair slicked back, black and green clothing- and nodded slightly. The servants knew their business inside out.  
Loki jumped again as Blagden hammered on the door.  
"What are you doing, Loki? The king awaits your company!" Blagden barked, then muttered "And has been for the last hour…"  
Loki sighed nervously. There was no point beating about the bush.  
"Alright, I'm coming!" He snapped, turning away from the brooding reflection as Blagden struck the door again.

Loki stood awkwardly beside Thor's throne, poker faced, as the king answered questions from his subjects.  
Loki was bored and annoyed. He had been standing beside the throne for the entire day, and he was feeling morose again. He had tried winning back the affections of the people by smiling at them, but that had only aroused unease and suspicion amongst them. So he tried a serious expression, only to arouse even more unease amongst the people who thought he was plotting something. So Loki stood blank-faced beside Thor, staring at the flagstones of the floor and trying to refrain from leaping into the crowd and tearing at everyone who came within reach.  
Finally, after answering a very dull question concerning the protection of a far from spectacular flower, Thor declared the meeting to be over. Loki breathed a silent sigh of relief as the people filed from the hall, some glaring at him and others sending beaming smiles at Thor.  
"Brother, come and drink with me!" Thor bellowed, slapping Loki's back genially. "It is tiresome being king!"  
Loki felt sweat break out on his upper lip. "I- I don't think you should drink tonight, Thor. You have more royal duties tomorrow and you don't need a hangover on your mind as well as royal decisions."  
"Nonsense!" Thor rumbled. "Come on, what else do you have to do today?"  
Loki was stumped.  
"I thought so." Thor said triumphantly. "Let's go while the hall is empty."  
Thor wrapped an arm around Loki's thin shoulders and steered him towards the door.  
Loki's cheeks went pink at his foster brother's closeness, and the memory of the dream clawed its way to the surface of his mind. He shivered.  
"You're very quiet, brother. Is everything alright?" Thor asked.  
Loki made a strange honking noise in his throat.  
Thor gave Loki a sidelong look. "By the branches of Yggdrasil, you're blushing!" Thor shouted gleefully. "I have not seen you blush since Frejya wished you a 'happy birthday'!" He laughed, then stopped when he saw Loki's face. "What is wrong?" Thor asked with slightly more concern.  
Loki's mind raced. _Maybe I should just tell him. It might help me out… _  
"I-It's just…" He began, swallowing. His mouth was completely dry, but sweat beaded on his lip.  
"I-"  
"Your majesty!" A guard bellowed from a short way behind them. The pair turned and saw a guard, bent double and red faced.  
"Sigurd?" Thor asked. "What is wrong?"  
"Odin… is looking for you… needs to speak to you…" Sigurd wheezed, head between his knees and right fist resting on his chest plate in the Norse salute.  
"Why? What has happened?" Thor asked sharply.  
"Nothing's wrong. It's just… very important!" Sigurd gasped.  
Thor groaned. He placed his hand on Loki's shoulder and looked him in the eyes.  
"I cannot drink with you tonight brother, but I will try my best to do so tomorrow!" Thor said fiercely.  
Loki nodded numbly, and Thor smiled and turned to Sigurd. "Where is the old goat?" he asked.  
"In his chambers. He told me that…" Sigurd's voice faded as he trotted off towards the Allfather's chambers with Thor.  
Loki was left standing alone in the stone hallway, where Thor had left him. His mind repeated the phrase he had almost told Thor over and over again. It rested on his tongue like liquid lead, tying him to that place on the floor. Loki trembled. Even if Thor wasn't there to hear it, he had to say it or he would stand there unmoving forever.  
Even though he was alone, saying the phrase made his face burn in shame.  
"I think that I am in love with you, Thor."


	2. Chapter 2

Thor sat alone in his bath in his washroom, massaging his throbbing skull. Odin had a "serious discussion" about something that Thor had done whilst under the influence of ale. Even thinking about it now was embarrassing- he rubbed his face tiredly and sighed as he remembered the conversation.  
"What in BLAZES were you thinking?" Odin had roared as soon as Thor poked his head into the room.  
Thor frowned and tilted his head in bewilderment. "What are you…?" He asked in sheer confusion.  
"A DRINKING competition. With Volstagg. What. Were. You. Thinking?" Odin hissed.  
Thor chuckled in embarrassment, his grin looking more like a grimace.  
"It was just some fun, father!" Thor groaned.  
"'Just some fun'. Attempting to kiss your brother in the company of some of the most influential people of Asguard is hardly fun!" Odin snapped, turning sharply to glare at his son's face.  
Thor blinked. _That_ he wasn't expecting- well, he knew he was an emotional drunk, but trying to kiss Loki… that was a little bit weird.  
"I didn't, did I? Kiss him, I mean…" Thor mumbled, his face beginning to burn.  
"What? By the branches of Yggdrasil, no!" Odin gasped. "If you had, well, you'd be in much more dire straits."  
Thor sighed in relief and made the mistake of smiling.  
"This is not something to smile about!" Odin roared. "You could have been deemed unworthy of being king!"  
"Father, I am sure that a kiss would not change the hearts of those who made me king—" Thor tried again.  
"It very well might have!" Odin bellowed. "I do believe that you have perpetually scarred your brother, as a matter of fact!"  
Thor rolled his eyes.  
"Don't look at me like that!" Odin snapped. "He has not even looked at you since! And now all he does is stay in his chambers. He doesn't even come out to eat!"  
Thor frowned again. Was it really that traumatizing to be kissed by him? And anyway, Loki had emerged from his chambers today to be with him in the public meeting. It couldn't be that bad, could it?  
"I want you to go and talk to him." Odin continued, striding to the table laden with fruit and tankards of ale. "Prove to him that you're not a drunken fool."  
"Father, he emerged from his chambers to be with me, even though it was a public meeting." Thor persisted. "You know how much he despises being in the public's eye."  
"Go to him anyway! The guards reported him whimpering in his sleep last night. You have to talk to him!"  
Thor sighed in exasperation. "Fine! I will speak with him after I bathe."  
At that he turned and marched from the room, determined not to listen to his father's continued grumbling.  
_That old fart, what does he know? _Thor fumed as he walked back to his chambers. _Loki isn't traumatized. He was going to tell me something very important just now, and if you're traumatized you don't trust-  
_Thor froze in his tracks, eyes bulging. _He was going to tell me what was wrong with him! _He fought the urge to smack himself in the face with Mjolnir. _How could I be so stupid? _He started to run, remembering the panicked look in his foster brother's eyes. _Fool! _He thought to himself. _Your brother was trying to tell you something! Why didn't you listen?  
_He skidded around the corner of the passageway that led to his and Loki's chambers. He started to run again, but stopped himself.  
_Maybe I should think about this, _he thought. _I'm not thinking straight… A quick bath will help me gather my thoughts._ He shuffled jerkily towards the doors of his chambers, a twitching smile creeping across his face as a greeting to the guards. They smiled unsurely back as they opened the doors. As soon as they clicked shut he sprinted to the washroom and twisted the bath's lever to its limit. He ripped his clothes off and threw them into a corner of the room before sliding into the almost boiling water, gritting his teeth as his skin stung as it adjusted to the heat.  
He heaved a sigh. _What do I say? I can't say Odin told me to ask, that would be too awkward…  
_He sighed again and sank beneath the water, shutting his eyes in warm semi-bliss. Then an idea came to him.  
He ran it over again in his mind, opening his eyes slightly. The dappled light floated before his eyes and he sighed with the sheer serenity of the moment.  
He sat up slowly, his skin pink from the water's heat and his blond hair plastered to his face. He peeled it away and stepped out of the bath, shivering slightly in the crisp night air. He grabbed a towel and patted himself dry as he walked into his dressing room. He reached for the servant's bell, but stopped himself just before he rang it, withdrawing his hand as he decided he could dress himself.  
He pulled on underclothes and attempted to locate his casual wear- he moved to the same section of shelves as the servants did, but instead of seeing and entire outfit ready to wear, he saw only piles of dark thin tunics, shirts and trousers. He tilted his head and searched the drawers again, with the same result.  
He looked to the drawers to the right of the ones he had investigated, and found slightly different clothes- thicker shirts and tunics this time. A slow smile spread across his face as he worked out how the servants dressed him- they chose a drawer on the far left and put more and more layers on by moving through the drawers to the right of the previous one.  
Thor selected a drawer and dressed himself without much drama. It was difficult to put on the armor by himself, but he managed it. He looked at himself in the mirror, and grinned. _I would make an amazing servant. _  
He picked up Mjolnir and exited his chambers, turning left towards his brother's room. He smiled to Loki's guards as they opened the doors and marched inside whilst filling his lungs for a booming greeting.  
The beaming smile that had spread across his face disappeared at the sight of his brother.  
Loki was sitting in front of the fireplace, his knees drawn up to his chest and his face resting on his knees, watching the flames licking the logs of wood. A mirror in the corner of the room allowed Thor to see his brother's face without Loki seeing him. His eyes were wide and full of fear and sadness, whilst the rest of his face was drawn. The only movement Loki made was a slight shift of his arms around his shins.  
Thor stood in overwhelmed silence for a moment, observing the scene, before pulling his smile back onto his face.  
"Loki!" He bellowed, grin back in place. Loki started and looked over his shoulder at the doorway, his face relaxing at the sight of Thor. Thor marched in as the doors swung shut, noticing the growing blush on his brother's face.  
"Are you still up for that drink, Loki?" Thor asked as he stood beside his brother.  
Loki's breathing became rapid, and he began to sweat. The change in his demeanor was so quick and unexpected that Thor thought Loki was sick.  
"Are you ill, brother?" Thor asked seriously, his forehead knitted into a concerned frown.  
"No, no I'm not ill." Loki answered quickly, his heart beating faster and louder. _Thor must be able to hear it,_ he scolded himself. _Calm down! _  
"I just wanted to say…" Loki began, but he couldn't continue. His mouth was dryer than bone.  
Thor watched Loki struggling to speak with his frown still in place. Just as he was about to tell Loki to spit it out, Loki blurted "I-I find it hard to look at you!"  
Thor felt his stomach drop into his boots. _He __is__ traumatized!_  
"Loki, I didn't mean to—" Thor stopped before he said _kiss_. The situation was awkward enough already. "…do… that to you! You know how I am when I have too much to drink!" Thor finished, his face reddening at the memory.  
Loki frowned in bewilderment. "What are you…?"  
"The drinking competition last night? With Volstagg?" Thor prompted. Loki stared blankly back before the memory clicked.  
"Oh, no, it's not that at all, Thor!" Loki gasped, his blush deepening in pleasure at the memory. "What I meant was…" He looked away from his brother's face, inhaled deeply and looked him in the eye.  
"…I love you."  
Thor burst out laughing. "I love you too, brother! My word, by the way you were acting I thought it was something terrible!"  
"No, no, I didn't mean it like that!" Loki said in dismay. "I meant that I am in love with you!"  
Thor's laughter stopped abruptly, his face showing pure shock. He waited for Loki to grin and exclaim "Fooled you!" But he didn't. He just sat on the floor, staring at his brother's face whilst his own burnt with embarrassment and shame.  
_He must be joking. He's can't be in love with me! We're brothers, and we're both men! This can't be… this can't be! _The same thoughts raced around Thor's head. He wanted to say them, or to gently explain to Loki that they couldn't be lovers, but all he managed to get out was a choked "How long?"  
Loki swallowed and looked away. "A while now. About a month, I think. Please don't hate me!" There was desperation in his voice and his eyes screwed shut in agony.  
Thor's mind reeled. _What in the name of Odin am I meant to say to that! _  
"I-I don't think that this can be, Loki!" Thor whispered finally. "We cannot be lovers."  
"I know, brother, but no-one needs to know!" Loki whispered back, a mad gleam in his eyes. "It will be our secret, and if no-one knows then how can we get separated from each other?"  
Thor went cold. The desperation in Loki's face was chilling to behold.  
"Loki, we're _men_! It's not how things are meant to be, a-and we're related!" A touch of hysteria had entered Thor's voice as he tried to show Loki his reasoning.  
"No." Loki said coldly, his expression hard. "We're not related. At least, not by blood." His voice warmed again, and his expression softened. "Besides, I do not care for gender. I have fallen for your personality and your spirit. You being a man means nothing to me." He frowned. "Wait, yes it does…" He muttered to himself. He blushed again.  
Thor stood stock still, his mouth agape in silent horror and his eyes glazed in shock. What Loki had said was weirdly touching, but he couldn't be in love with his _brother_. He swallowed heavily.  
"Loki, I can't be your lover. I do not have any romantic feelings for you and you are my brother. Besides," He said firmly as Loki opened his mouth to protest, "I am sure that whatever feelings you have for me will pass. You will discover this by yourself, in due course."  
Loki closed his mouth slowly, his lips trembling like they used to when he was very small and on the verge of tears. Thor's heart clenched, and he whispered gently "I am sorry, but this is beyond my control. It's nothing to do with you. I'll take you for that drink now, if you still feel up to it?"  
Loki shook his head, and Thor was startled to see tears in his eyes. He felt a great need to brighten the situation. "Are you going to remain my right hand man?" He blurted out, and immediately wished he could pull the sentence back down his throat. _Well, that was smart, wasn't it? _He scolded himself.  
The corner of Loki's mouth lifted slightly, despite the tears sliding down his face.  
"I suppose I'll have to, won't I? We wouldn't want your whiskery mouth running amok amongst the people." Loki whispered huskily, still not looking at him.  
Thor nodded shakily and turned to leave. Just as he opened the latch of the door, Loki gasped "These feelings won't change! I have tried to change them ever since they formed with no result. I have never felt like this with anyone, and I know that I won't feel them with anyone else."  
Thor felt each word get scratched into his mind. He swayed slightly in shock, then pulled the door opened fully and padded out to the hallway, refusing to turn around.  
He made it back to his room without showing the faintest trace of emotion, but as soon as the doors clicked shut his blank mask crumbled and he sank to the floor in silent, miserable terror, clutching his face so tightly that he felt small trickles of blood sliding down his cheeks. He wanted desperately to cry, but he couldn't bring a single tear into existence. He just lay curled in a ball in the middle of his bed chamber, unable to move from sheer hopelessness. A single thought squirmed in his mind: _How did it go so wrong?_  
But he knew that no matter how badly he felt, Loki was feeling much, much worse.


	3. Chapter 3

Loki woke up to the sound of Blagden knocking on the door. When he first opened his eyes, he was confused as to why he would be on the floor, but the memory of the previous night hit him like a sock full of sand.  
Another round of knocks boomed through the room, but he didn't move from the stiff fetal position he was in.  
"Loki?" Blagden called.  
"Leave me." Loki rasped hollowly, shutting his eyes again.  
"Loki?" Blagden called again, slightly louder.  
"I said leave!" Loki roared, his white hot anger burning away his lethargy.  
"Alright! Alright! I'll give you're an hour to wake up." Blagden said in annoyance.  
Loki's eyes slid open again to stare at the lifeless fireplace. He was incensed at himself. _What was I expecting? _He asked himself furiously._ How could I expect Thor to accept my feelings for him, and return them in a single meeting? And anyway, Thor isn't like that! He doesn't like men! And I am his BROTHER! He had every right to turn down my advances… So why can't I stop thinking about him? _  
Loki began to glare at the fireplace. _Why was he so blunt with me? Why wasn't he gentler in saying no? _His lips began to pull back from his teeth in a snarl and he began to vent the anger he felt at himself by hating Thor. _That bastard! Thick-headed, drunken, idiotic, selfish BASTARD! _Loki surged to his feet, the agony from his popping joints fuelling his rage. He staggered over to the table laden with jugs of water and ale, grabbed a particularly heavy one and hurled it at the wall. It shattered, the ale slithering down the bronze paneling. Loki grabbed a metal one, threw it to the floor and when it bounced he sent it flying to the wall with a kick. His eyes fell on the snowy fleece Thor had gotten for him from a hunting trip hanging on the wall above his bed, and in a moment of sheer fury he leapt onto the bed and tore it down, ripping fistfuls of fur from the pelt.  
Rather than relieving him, the furious destruction of his belongings made him angrier. He began to scream as he tore at the pelt, finally throwing it into the puddle of water the metal jug had dropped. He jumped onto the floor again, smashing vases, plates, jugs… anything breakable that came to hand was broken.  
_Why won't he love me?_ The thought fuelled each movement, but with every shatter the thought became less angry and sadder, until Loki was screaming with tears sliding down his face. He sank to the floor, sobbing silently to himself and wanting nothing more than to be left alone.  
He knew it was only a matter of time before Blagden returned, and he wanted to tidy the mess he had made, but the weeping had absorbed his remaining energy andhe felt as drained as an empty water skin. He just lay on the floor of his room, his hand clenching a shard of pottery and his left cheek resting on another.  
He wasn't too shocked when the door of his chambers opened and Blagden poked his head in. His mouth was open to say something, but his faint smile disappeared at the sight of the carnage. His gaze flickered over the room, searching for Loki, and when they found him lying on the flagstones surrounded by razors of pottery his mouth flew open to ask what was wrong.  
"Leave." Loki croaked hollowly, staring at a crumb of pottery beside his nose.  
Blagden didn't leave. Rather, he marched into the room and bent to lift Loki to his feet.  
"Get out!" Loki snarled with a cracking voice, twisting to glare at the guard's face. Blagden didn't stop and hooked his hands under Loki's armpits, beginning to lift.  
"Get OUT!" Loki screeched, swinging the shard of pottery at Blagden's face. The spike sliced open the guard's cheek, but he ignored the blood running down his face, picked Loki up and swung him onto the bed. He then inspected Loki's bleeding hands and cheek, assessing the damage in silence. He clicked his tongue, then turned to the servant's bell and rang it four times. Within seconds, a pack of robed servants appeared and began to clean the enormous mess and Blagden began to pluck spikes of ceramic from Loki's hand.  
Loki chewed his lip and opened his mouth to apologize for cutting Blagden but the guard shook his head and put a free finger to his lips, indicating the servants with a jerk of his head. Loki nodded and winced as a large splinter was plucked from his palm. The pair sat in silence as the servants bustled around them, small hisses of pain escaping Loki's lips every now and then.  
Ten minutes later, the room was back to its former glory, the servants had left and Blagden and Loki were still sitting beside each other in silence. Loki opened his mouth to apologize again, but Blagden held up his hand to silence him.  
"Don't worry, Loki. You don't owe me anything. You don't have to tell me anything. I just want you to know that I am your friend, and as such, I won't hold anything against you." The guard smiled, thumped Loki on the back genially. Loki smiled gratefully at him, but the smile twisted into a grimace of confusion.  
"What do you mean?" He asked.  
Blagden's smile became fixed. His gaze slid from Loki's and patches of red appeared on his cheeks.  
"Please don't take this the wrong way, but…" Blagden swallowed, then blurted "I heard you and Thor last night."  
Loki's heart dropped into his stomach. "W-what?" he squeaked. His mind whirled, terrible situations forming in his mind. "What did- how much did you hear?" he gasped, eyes widening and his hands gripping Blagden's forearm tightly.  
"Loki, calm down. I already told you, I won't hold anything against you and I won't tell anyone anything." Blagden said hurriedly, releasing Loki's fingers gently. He stood up and moved to the drink table, pouring himself a large serving of ale. He moved to the door, taking a deep gulp, looking at Loki as he did so. He raised his eyebrow at Loki's wide-eyed face.  
"You- you promise you won't tell anyone?" Loki whispered, clenching a fistful of the sheepskin blanket on his bed.  
"Of course! You can even put one of your tongue locking enchantments on me if you like." The guard grinned. Loki frowned- he was forbidden to use magic without explicit permission from Odin himself.  
It dawned on Blagden that he had been a bit insensitive. "You have my word. If something slips out, I'll cut out my own tongue." he declared.  
Loki was still in shock. Blagden waited for an answer to his declaration, but when it became obvious that one wasn't forthcoming, he cleared his throat. "Are you going to help your brother with his duties today?"  
A pang went through Loki at the mention of Thor. _I can't see him now._  
"No." Loki rasped. There was no point in beating about the bush. "I can't see him now."  
Blagden nodded, taking another sip. "Just- try to make a public appearance soon. Thor is as upset as you are, if not more."  
Loki couldn't help feeling a rush of giddy hope. _He's just feeling bad for hurting his brother! _He thought sternly. However, he felt a grin tugging at his lips.  
He pulled on his poker-face quickly, and looked at Blagden in the eye.  
"Whew, that's a better look." Blagden sighed. "Slightly less insane. So, _now _do you think that you could show up soon?"  
Loki considered the opportunity- he could go to Thor and save the people of Asguard from his brother's confused judgments, or he could stay in his room, safe from Thor and the prying eyes of people. He chewed his lip again as he considered, whilst another part of him practically sang "_He feels bad! He feels bad for hurting me!"_  
He nodded as he reached a decision. "I'll go."  
Blagden sighed in relief. "Good choice." He turned to leave, but just as he opened the door he jumped as he remembered something. "Loki?" he asked.  
"Mmm?" Loki answered, still in semi-ecstasy.  
"Try to smile." Blagden grinned and left, pulling the door shut behind him.  
Loki sat in silent stillness on his bed, for a few moments after Blagden had left. Finally his mind returned to his body, and the small smile he had tried to hide stretched across his face. At least smiling would be easy.


	4. Chapter 4

Thor sat in an almost stupor as the consuls discussed the living conditions of the people of Asguard. They had already gone over this subject about a thousand times, but the old farts loved to be sure.  
Subconsciously, due to hundreds of similar meetings, Thor's eyes slid to Loki's. Before he could look away, Loki glanced at him. His guarded expression relaxed and he mouthed _I'm bored_.  
Thor's hands twitched and he nodded. He raised his head from where it had collapsed on his hands and bellowed over the consuls raspy tones "I think we have discussed this enough!"  
The two voices that had been nattering for almost an hour silenced.  
"Very well." Thor sighed heavily, "I believe that this meeting ended an hour ago. Now, the meeting is adjourned, so everybody get out of here!" he said, waving his hand vaguely.  
Everyone in the room, save the two grumpy arguers, let out sighs of relief. They all left the hall in clumps of twos or threes, the pair of old men continuing to argue violently as they left.  
Thor glanced surreptitiously at Loki, only to see him staring back with extreme intensity. His cheeks turned red and he couldn't think of anything to say to break the very awkward silence.  
_I should apologize,_ he thought wildly. _It might help to clear the air…_  
Thor was snapped from his reverie by the sound of Loki's chair scraping on the flagstones. He watched dumbly as his brother stood and walked to the door, half formed sentences struggling to his lips. Just as Loki opened the door, Thor blurted "Do you want to drink, now? Do you feel up to that drink I promised you, all that…" His cheeks burned. _Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! _ He mentally slapped himself.  
Loki snickered. "That is the only greeting you've said to me for the past three days!" he grinned.  
Thor was stumped. _I thought he would have been more… angry,_ he thought.  
"Aren't you angry, o-or sad?" Thor asked in confusion. _Don't question his feelings! _He screamed mentally, a second too late.  
Loki's eye ticked. "I was. But I fixed myself up. There are no hard feelings."  
"I should have been gentler in putting down your… offer," Thor whispered, unable to stop himself "but, I'm not really good at understanding emotions. I-I'm sorry."  
Loki's face had gone strangely blank, but Thor could have sworn his eyes were shining more than normal. "I am sorry, but I cannot drink with you. I am going down to Earth with Knut tonight."  
If Thor was confused before, it was nothing in comparison to the confusion he was feeling now.  
"Earth? What…?" Thor mused.  
Loki shrugged defensively. "They do not make Mojito's up here."  
"Mo-whats?"  
"It's a mortal drink that I have grown fond of." Loki stated matter-of-factly. "I'm just going for a drink with Knut on Earth because if I asked for one here Sigrid would probably slap me and I'll be back before tomorrow!" he yelled, losing his temper when Thor opened his mouth to argue.  
"Oh. So, there's nothing I can do to stop you?" Thor said, trying to gain control of the situation.  
"No," Loki snapped.  
"Very well." A very awkward silence followed.  
"Have- have fun, then." Thor said awkwardly, mentally smacking himself with Mjölnir for losing control of the situation so catastrophically.  
Loki nodded tersely and disappeared from view.  
Thor's head sank back onto his hands that were resting on the table. _You absolute IDIOT._

Loki padded swiftly through the hallways of Asguard, heading towards the rainbow bridge in his most unassuming get-up—long black trousers, a pair of black boots and a long-sleeved shirt. His blank façade crumbled and a small, stupid grin spread across his face. _Thor is such an idiot!_ He laughed internally as he replayed his brother's clumsy attempts at conversation. _But he's so sweet, _he thought more kindly. _He tried to make amends…_ A memory swam to the surface of his mind- Thor's face, expression almost pained as he begged for Loki's understanding.  
A pang went through him, and a faint blush formed on his cheeks as he realized how erotic the look was. He shook and pinched himself as he reached the gate. Knut was already there, dressed in that hideous way mortals did- dull bluish-grey pants, running shoes, and a red shirt. The young guard smiled as Loki entered the room, and Loki allowed himself to grin back. Knut was one of the very few people Loki considered to be a friend- he was loyal and always managed to produce a smile for him, even though he was something of an airhead. Loki would have preferred to go by himself, but his war criminal punishment forbade him from going anywhere unaccompanied.  
The gates opened and the pair walked out onto the bridge making small chitchat. Heimdall stood silently in front of the gate, watching the pair approach with his golden eyes. Loki averted his gaze and his voice dwindled into silence- ever since he had frozen the gatekeeper in his attack on Asguard, he had been harboring a secret fear of retribution for his actions.  
"Where do you wish to go?" Heimdall rumbled, staring now at something only he could see.  
"Earth, please." Knut piped, smiling a polite greeting at the giant's unmoving golden chest, as his face was out of visual range.  
Heimdall grunted and moved into the great bronze sphere that was the gateway, a cue for Knut and Loki to follow.  
Just as the pair had entered, the giant pushed his sword into the dais, and bolts of lightning began to spark and flash around the room. It slowly began to spin, the etched designs on the walls becoming blurred as the speed increased. Then, the great pointed tower moved into position, pointing down to Earth. Flashes of rainbow light filled its hollow, and Loki felt the familiar creeping tingle associated with the journey begin again. He heard Knut shout a "Thank you" to Heimdall, just as the final shock tore through him.  
For a moment he was streaking through space at an impossible speed towards Earth, and then there was a great thump, and an unpleasant compressing sensation. He was unable to draw breath, and his head got lighter and lighter until finally the compression disappeared. He drew in a great breath through his nose, and heard Knut gasping not too far away. His hand probed the ground, and he felt feathery grass beneath his fingers. He wrenched his eyes open and saw the enormous star spangled sky hanging serenely above him. _This isn't too terrible,_ he thought. He stretched where he lay, sighing in contentment as he felt the relief of being away from the unkind glares of the Asguardians and Thor's almost constant appearances.  
He yelped as Knut stepped on his stomach. "Get up! The pubs are only getting fuller. You royals, by Odin's eye!" Knut sighed.  
Loki glared at Knut's silhouette, but accepted the guards extended hand and heaved himself to his feet. He brushed off the strands of grass that clung to his clothes as he assessed the area- the two of them had landed in an open field, not very far away from a bustling city. Something was being constructed ahead of them, but the builders had long since gone home.  
"Where do you wish to go, Loki?" Knut asked casually as the pair marched in the vague direction of the town.  
"Anywhere that makes good cocktails," Loki answered wearily, the exhaustion of the week catching up to him.  
"You sound terrible! What has happened?" Knut asked in concern, a frown clenching his face.  
Loki felt he owed Knut an explanation, but somehow he knew that the guard would be more than shocked at his "orientation." And anyway, he was just too tired.  
"It is nothing," Loki answered, looking away. Knut was obviously not convinced, but he stopped pursuing the subject. Loki liked him even more for that.  
The pair walked in a rather tense silence until they finally reached the gold lighted city streets. The noise irritated Loki at first- _Stupid beings, _he spat mentally, _you think that your lives are so terrible, but they're not! They are no-where near as terrible as they could be_…- but it began to bother him less and less as they walked through the town. It seemed more like the noise a large flock of birds would make.  
They had entered the night district- heavy bass drummed from the open doors of clubs, young women dressed like harlots tiptoed their way down the paths in ridiculously high-heeled shoes, and drunks staggered from pubs- and it was just a matter of finding a cocktail bar.  
"There is no chance of finding an empty seat here!" Knut yelled, his voice all but drowned in the violent music. Loki nodded his understanding and they weaved their way through the hordes of clubbers, aiming for a small backstreet.  
Loki knew that they were in trouble as soon as they stepped into the alleyway; a group of obviously drunk men were loitering in the alleyway, about halfway down- they were having a shouted conversation and hadn't realized that they were being watched.  
"Knut," Loki whispered, leaning closer to the guard's ear, "I don't like this. Let's go back…"  
It was too late. Before Loki had even finished his sentence, there was a drunken yell. "Wha's this? What're pair o' poofs doin' down here?" Loki glanced up to see a young man in a red shirt, about twenty years old, pointing accusingly at him and Knut.  
Loki's cheeks turned faintly pink- he knew what the word "poof" meant.  
"Piss off, you bloody wankers!" Knut snarled at the menacing group, marching forwards heedlessly. Loki padded beside him, attempting to ignore the malevolent muttering that had sprung up in the pack. He glanced up again- the pack continued to block the passageway, and something told Loki that they wouldn't move. The same thought seemed to occur to Knut, and he slowed so that Loki could catch up. He whispered, "When I start running, try to keep up." Loki nodded tensely, not liking the situation at all. He looked up one last time, and his suspicions were confirmed- the drunks had formed a line.  
A few were holding broken bottles.  
Loki's heart quickened, but not in the sexually excited way it had up in Asguard. He had no means of defending himself down here- he was forbidden to use magic, he was no physical wonder like Thor, and he and Knut were two against eight very violent and unreasonable people.  
Knut kept walking with his eyes straight ahead. Just as he reached the line, he bent forward and charged at it, roaring as he did so. Men were thrown clear of his form, shrieking with indignation, and Loki kept as close to Knut as he could.  
"Do not turn around!" Knut bellowed as he ran. Loki didn't answer, putting all of his energy into his escape. He heard enraged yelling behind him, and the sound of eight pairs of feet in pursuit.  
"Where are we to go?" Loki shouted, his eyes wide and wild in terror.  
"Just follow me!" Knut called back, taking a sharp right turn at the end of the alley. Loki followed, all too aware of the cruel laughter that floated behind them.  
The next few minutes passed like in a nightmare- the pair ran without stopping, weaving through alleyways and side streets, desperately trying to get enough distance between themselves and the blood-thirsty gang. Finally, they emerged into a crowded street. They ran right into the thick of the action, panting heavily and watching for the drunks. The pack emerged from the laneway within seconds, grinning cruelly, but when they saw no trace of their prey their smiles turned to leers and they retreated to their lair. Loki and Knut sighed with relief.  
"Let us get that blasted drink." Knut sighed wearily, slapping Loki on the back and making his way down the street when they were sure that they weren't being followed. Loki kept as close to his escort as was possible, his heart still thumping painfully fast.  
Soon they reached the end of the street, and to the right, down a short laneway was a brightly lit but quiet little bar. The pair heaved a joint sigh of relief as they moved towards the light, starting to smile as they began to believe that they were safe.  
But, as fate would have it, the gang appeared at the other end of the laneway.  
Loki went cold as the men's voices reached his ears.  
"Oi! If it isn't those poofters!" the man in the red shirt sneered, an awful grin spreading across his flushed face.  
Loki and Knut glanced over their shoulders almost simultaneously to the alleyway behind them, to see if there was a way out. To their horror, they saw the rest of the pack surrounding them. The men were grinning, and they were still holding their bottles.  
"One thing I just can't stand," the man in the red shirt began, taking a swig from a bottle in a brown paper bag, "is poofters snogging in public. Makes me _sick_!"  
The man moved closer to Loki. Loki leaned back, trying to keep a straight face- his breath was disgusting- but the man continued to lean forward, until their noses were touching. Suddenly, the man's smile twisted into a snarl and his eyes widened in terror. "Wait- you, you're…_ him!_" the man shrieked, bathing Loki in waves of beer stained breath.  
Loki was completely confused at the man's change of state. His confusion was soon resolved, however.  
"You're that sick bastard who killed all those people in America!" the drunk yowled, stumbling back a few feet in fear.  
The pack muttered darkly. One barked "Wait- is he the one who says he's a God?"  
Murmurs of ascent gave the man all the confirmation he needed. He gave Loki a sharp push between the shoulder blades. "You- you murdered my brother!" he snarled. Loki turned to look at the man, but he received a sharp punch to his face before he had even glanced over his shoulder.  
"You asshole! Filthy, cruel bastard!" the man roared, landing punches and kicks on his body. Loki heard Knut fighting to drag the man away from him, but to no avail.  
Loki wanted the man to know that he was sorry, that he had changed from his last visit to Earth, but he knew that the man wouldn't listen. So he lay on the ground and took the beating, refusing to cry out despite the intense strength behind the blows. Finally, Knut managed to wrench the man off Loki and pushed him away, holding out his hands as if to pacify him.  
"Calm down!" Knut roared, his gaze fixed on the enraged man. Loki's eyes slid to the man's face- shaggy copper hair, flushed cheeks, and hazel eyes streaming with tears- as he lay gasping for breath on the ground, entirely at the pack's mercy.  
He vaguely realized that Knut was still talking to the gang. "This isn't him!" he was saying. "It's just an unfortunate coincidence that he looks very similar to him- he can't go anywhere without becoming a victim of hatred! We don't want any—"  
"Silence, Knut." Loki whispered regally, staggering to his feet again. His head was pounding and he had some trouble breathing, but he kept his face locked into his trademark expression of disdain. He knew that the pack had recognized him for who he was, and no amount of bluffing would convince them that he was anyone else. He had no choice but to scare them off.  
"I shall give you a choice," he continued, putting on his silkiest tone and flicking his gaze from person to person. "You can let me and my friend go now, and that will be the end of it. Or," his voice turned to a soft purr, "you can attempt to kill us, and you will suffer hideously. You all know what I am capable of, so consider your options well." He went silent, narrowing his eyes slightly and staring down the men closest to him.  
None of the men seemed willing to fight anymore. They still looked angry, but they were also scared, and none came forward.  
Just as he prepared himself to exit the situation, a slurred but obviously furious shout came from the red-shirted man.  
"Fuck you, and your 'conditions'!" He raised his index and middle fingers in a 'V' shape at Loki. "You're the faggiest excuse for a God that I've ever seen and you—AAAAAAAARGH!" His furious tirade was cut short in a terrible shriek, for Loki- in a moment of sheer fury- had leapt forward, seized the man's hand and bit down viciously on his fingers. The other men fled as the scream lengthened and fractured. Loki continued to clench his jaws, ignoring the blood filling his mouth and determined to sever the offending gesture from the hand.  
"Loki! Loki, STOP!" Knut screamed, tugging at Loki's shoulders. Loki released the hand, straightened up to his full height and spat the blood that remained in his mouth into the man's face.  
The man howled in agony, bent double with his own blood sliding down his face and clutching his mangled fist. Loki glared at the pathetic figure, unable to draw up a single drop of pity or remorse. Knut raced forward to help, but the man- no; boy would be a better description judging by his wailing- pushed him away with his good hand and staggered off in the direction that his friends had gone, shrieking their names between his sobs. Knut stood still, staring after him in stunned silence, and then turned to Loki with a look of sheer confusion.  
"Can we get that drink now?" Loki said flatly, wiping some blood from the corner of his mouth. All he could taste and smell was metal, and his mouth had become very dry during the whole ordeal. Without waiting for an answer, he marched off in the direction of the bar, not stopping to check if Knut was following.  
The bar was reassuringly quiet. There was a young couple curled up in a booth to the right, and a pair of young men were sitting at the bar and sharing an apparently hilarious joke. Loki slumped down on a stool as close to the wall as possible, and was joined a few seconds later by Knut. There was a tense silence as they waited for the barman, both worried at what the other would say.  
A young girl in a red uniform with a white towel over her shoulder padded up to them, polishing a highball glass. "What can I get you two?" she asked with a perky Irish accent.  
"I'll have a, uh, a James Boags, please." Knut stuttered, his eyes flicking to the menu above the counter.  
"Sure," she said, smiling shyly at him. Her gaze shifted to Loki. "What about you, sir?"  
"A Mojito, please." Loki answered quietly, looking down at the bar and hoping the girl didn't notice the bloodstains on his chin and teeth.  
The waitress moved off to the drinks shelf, humming a tune to herself as she worked. Loki took the chance to chip off some of the dried blood on his chin, but to no avail. He saw a bucket of ice on the other side of the counter, and checking that the waitress was distracted, snatched a cube and allowed it to melt slightly in his hands before rubbing the water over his face.  
As he worked, Knut whispered "Loki-"  
"Silence." Loki hissed, rubbing his chin.  
"No, Loki, I'm not…" Knut gasped. He closed his eyes and sighed before pulling on a smile and opening them again. "Look- I have noticed that you have been slightly on edge lately. And, I've gotten you something…" he tailed off as the waitress reappeared with their drinks. She smiled once more at Knut before drifting away again.  
Knut took a deep gulp from the bottle before him and wiped his mouth with his sleeve before facing Loki again. "As I was saying, I got you something to 'show you a good time'." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, dark blue glass bottle, holding it out to Loki.  
Loki studied the object- it didn't look that spectacular. "What is it?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at it.  
Knut grinned impishly. "This bottle," he began, "contains an elixir that will make even the most sexually frigid person horny."  
Loki very nearly spat out a mouthful of Mojito.  
"_WHAT?_" he gasped, just recovering from his choking fit.  
"You heard me." Knut's smile only grew wider. "You seem to need some form of release, and what could be better than this?"  
Loki's mind reeled. _I don't… what! _  
"Knut!" Loki hissed. "I do not want or need an aphrodisiac to be happy!"  
"Loki, don't try to lie to me. I know you too well- you're in _love._" Knut grinned triumphantly. "What's more, your misery seems to have arisen since you've fallen for this person, so just take this-" he pushed the bottle into Loki's hand- "and put it to good use!"  
"No!" Loki squeaked. "I will not force anyone into doing anything!"  
Knut sighed, his smile slipping. "Well, could you at least take it and dispose of it for me? Odin does not take kindly to guards who carry such powerful objects with them."  
Loki opened his mouth to disagree, but paused and thought about the situation.  
"…Alright. I shall get rid of this as long as you _promise_ to tell no-one of what happened tonight. Are we agreed?"  
Knut nodded and pressed his fist to his chest in the salute. "You have my word, Loki."  
Loki nodded and slipped the bottle into his pocket.  
The two finished their drinks in near silence before leaving their money on the counter and exiting the now empty bar. The air was icy now, and Loki longed to return to his chambers for a good soak in a hot bath.  
The pair glanced up and down the alleyway, checking for people before Knut looked up to the sky and called for Heimdall. At first, nothing happened. Then there was a great flash of light, and Loki was plucked from the ground and sent flying through space again.  
He just managed to land on his feet. Knut wasn't so lucky, and landed on his face at Heimdall's feet. He leapt up, completely unfazed and smiled at Loki. He also smiled a thank-you at Heimdall before running onto the bridge with Loki in hot pursuit.  
"I have to report to Odin," Knut explained as Loki caught up with him, "so I pray that you will forgive me for not staying with you for longer." The gates swung open as they approached, and Knut turned left as Loki turned right.  
"Very well. I shall see you tomorrow, Knut." Loki purred. "Goodnight!"  
"Goodnight, Loki!" The guard smiled and disappeared around the corner.  
Loki turned and padded swiftly back to his chambers, wanting nothing more than to curl up and sleep.  
Blagden was still standing guard when Loki arrived, and the guard smiled at him. "Did you have a good time?"  
Loki made a strange noise, then nodded quickly as Blagden raised his eyebrow. It would take too long to explain, so Loki said a quick goodnight and slipped into his room before the guard asked any questions. There wasn't a more comforting sight in the world than the one that lay before him that evening- his bed, piled with furs; the huge fire; the curtains drawn; and everything bathed in the golden firelight.  
Loki slipped into the washroom and pulled off his clothes as he filled the bath with water, throwing them into a corner.  
He was startled by a _clink!_ as the clothes landed. Frowning, he moved to the pile and patted it, searching for the thing that made the noise. He felt something and drew it out, and sweat broke over his body- it was the bottle with the elixir.  
Remembering his promise to Knut, he padded out to the main room and to the fireplace, and held the small bottle above the hungry flames. But something stopped him from dropping it. Slowly, he pulled it back out and studied it more closely.  
He slowly backed away from the fireplace. _I do not know enough about this… it might explode if heated, or something._ He glanced around the chamber, then back at the bottle. His mind clicked quickly over his options. Loki's eyes slid to the drawers in his desk and he chewed his lip.  
_Well, I cannot do anything with it now, _he reasoned. He padded over to the desk, opened the lowest drawer and slipped the bottle in. _I shall work out what to do with it later._  
He returned to the washroom, stripped fully and slipped into the slightly chilled water, believing that he had made the right decision.  
He had no idea how much he would come to regret it.

_

**Just as a warning, the next few chapters are a bit… ~ahem~. I'm changing the rating, just in case I get a bit carried away. :D  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello everybody! I know that this chapter has taken a while, but my intestines had staged a mutiny earlier this week. I'm all good now, and my writing schedule should be back on track.  
WARNING! WARNING! This chapter contains an awkward, family unfriendly moment! It's also got some man-on-man action, so if you no like, you no read!  
I probably should have mentioned this earlier too, but this story is based on an Anime I saw a little while ago and I can't remember what it's called…:/  
Anyway, hope you like this chapter- it's my first attempt at writing a love scene, so I apologize in advance if it's not up to standard. :) And thanks to everybody for the awesome reviews- they mean so much to me!**

Almost a week had passed since Loki's visit to Earth, and very little had changed in Asguard. However, his life had been changed permanently. First and foremost, his love for Thor had deepened to the point of obsession.  
Second, he had had slept with Thor.  
The entire outrage had begun two days after Loki had returned from his visit.  
Loki and Thor were in another meeting, but the mood in the room was far from sleepy and bored. The consuls had gathered for an emergency meeting concerning the imminent threat of war from the Frost Giants of Jotunheim. No-one had any idea why the giants planned to wage war, but there were many theories, the most sensible one being that the giants just wanted to blow off some steam.  
"How strong are their forces?" Thor asked as soon as the consuls were seated. He was gripping Mjölnir's handle so tightly that his knuckles had turned white, but it had done nothing to ease his tension.  
"Two hundred of the giants have gathered and are ready for battle," Hildr stated, glancing at a slate covered in runes before her, "but they will not fight without a leader, which is very fortunate for us. It will be relatively easy for us to stifle this threat if we act quickly."  
Thor nodded. "What would you say is the simplest way to eliminate this leader?"  
"I say we go in there, slit the bastard's throat and stick his head on a spike and leave it as a warning to the others," Tyr growled.  
"No!" Loki shouted. The consuls stared at him in shock and he felt his face beginning to burn.  
"We should not act so rashly," Loki said quickly. "We do not know how the Giants will react to such an action."  
"Well," Tyr sighed sarcastically, "what would the great, passive Loki Laufeyson do in this situation?"  
Loki's eyes narrowed. "I would suggest that we send someone to negotiate with them," he replied icily, "as we do not want to aggravate the situation any further."  
Tyr raised his eyebrows and leered. "Is that so? You must have performed many diplomatic acts in the past, have you not?"  
Loki pursed his lips but maintained his eye contact with the warrior, refusing to be intimidated. Tyr was one of the many that had never forgiven Loki for his attack on Asguard, but unlike the others who merely sent him cold glares Tyr went out of his way to make Loki unhappy.  
"I agree with Loki," Hildr said quickly. "It would reflect badly on Asguard if we were to commit murder of an official of another realm."  
"That is true," Thor agreed, and murmurs of ascent echoed around the chamber. Loki felt a triumphant expression spread across his face, and Tyr's face darkened.  
"Now, who should be the diplomat?" Hildr asked once the quiet chatter had died down. Thor opened his mouth to volunteer, but Hildr shook her head. "No, I do not think that you should go, Thor. Remember last time?"  
Thor lowered his gaze as the incident flashed before his eyes- galloping across the bridge, sneaking into Jotunheim and proceeding to lay waste to hundreds of the Frost Giants.  
"Anyone?" Hildr prompted as silence permeated the room.  
"I shall go," Tyr rumbled, startling everyone.  
"You?" Hildr asked, taken slightly aback. "But, you are so…"  
"So what?" Tyr growled, narrowing his eyes.  
Hildr swallowed, her mind racing. "You are so…" She wanted to say that he was a violent, self-centered nasty old bastard but something told her that was a bad idea.  
"so… unwilling to volunteer, un-under different circumstances." She finished lamely.  
Tyr snorted. "It seems that I am your only option, my dear," he sneered in a sickly-sweet tone. The other officials averted their gaze—they didn't want Tyr to be their representative, but they were too scared to go into Jotunheim themselves.  
"Well," Hildr sighed, when it was obvious that no-one was going to come forward, "I believe that this meeting has finished. Is there anything that you should tell Tyr, as he is going to be representing Asguard?" she said, a hint of pleading in her voice.  
"Yes," Thor growled. Tyr stretched nonchalantly in his seat, smiling unconcernedly at the king.  
"I want you to keep this meeting free of bloodshed, Tyr. Do you understand?" Thor hissed, angered by the warriors' carelessness.  
"Yes," Tyr drawled, inspecting his golden goblet.  
"I want there to be no murder, do you understand me?" Thor repeated, narrowing his eyes in annoyance.  
"I know, your majesty."  
"If there is so much as one droplet of blood spilled, I will per—"  
"By the Branches of Yggdrasil, _I understand_!" Tyr snapped, finally irritated into action. He hurled the goblet to the floor and surged to his feet, drawing his axe and ignoring the startled cries of the consuls.  
"I would like to go now." He said stiffly, marching towards the door. With a push of his shoulder, the door burst open and he disappeared into the corridor.  
Loki watched the entire situation unfold, his face twitching with the exertion of stopping himself from laughing. _That was… unusual._ He waited for Thor to dismiss the meeting—there was a potion he wanted to practice brewing—and politely stared at the chandelier as the chamber grumbled itself back into quiet.  
"This meeting is adjourned… you know all of it, just go." Thor muttered, resting his forehead on Mjölnir's head in defeat.  
The others left the room quickly, and in a matter of seconds Thor and Loki were alone.  
"If you do not wish to be alone tonight, Thor, you are more than welcome to spend the night with me," Loki said, noting how his brother's shoulders slumped.  
"Thank you brother, but no. I think I will just get some sleep tonight," Thor said wearily. "And besides, you complain about how much I snore. I do not want to disrupt your rest."  
Loki sighed and heaved himself to his feet. "Well, if you change your mind I will be working on something until late in my chambers, alright?"  
Thor nodded, head still resting on Mjölnir's.  
Loki paused in the doorway, looking at his brother's prone form. _How could someone so muscular look so… weak?_ He thought in confusion.  
"Is there something wrong?" he asked.  
"No," Thor mumbled, "I am just tired."  
Loki chewed his lip, then slowly walked out of the room, thinking about Thor. Somehow he made it to his chambers without bumping into anyone, and moved to his desk. He pulled out an assortment of bottles and jars, as well as a burner. Slowly, he immersed himself in the project.  
He had no idea how much time had passed, but he was squeezing a droplet of deep green liquid into a blue bottle when his door burst open. Loki turned, still holding the bottle and pipette, and saw the enormous silhouette of Thor in his doorway. His eyes were wide and wild, and there was a snarl twisting his mouth.  
Loki braced for impact as he asked what was wrong.  
"Tyr… against m-my orders…" Thor began, his voice no more than a whisper and his rage barely being held back, "Tyr… _murdered the general!_" Thor roared, swinging his hammer wildly.  
"Thor, calm yourself!" Loki said sternly, knowing that Thor could be extremely unpredictable when he was enraged.  
"I will not calm myself!" he bellowed, pacing between Loki's bed and his fireplace, grabbing fistfuls of his hair and looking dangerously close to ripping it out. "He might have endangered the lives of all who live here with his stupidity!"  
He stopped pacing and stared at something on the floor, then turned to Loki, hair still in his fists. His face was strained and his eyes were hard.  
"I will show him what happens to traitors," he whispered, releasing his hair and gripping Mjölnir. He turned and ran from the room, ignoring Loki's pleas for him to stop.  
Loki sighed, staring after his brother. The fight wouldn't last more than an hour-Thor needed to get this out of his system, and anyway, it gave him plenty of time to finish the potion. He withdrew to his desk and picked up the bottle again, trying to remember if he had injected the green liquid.  
A few moments later, the recuperation draught was complete. Loki corked the bottle and placed it on the desk, his attention already caught by another recipe on the opposite page of the book. Subconsciously he slipped the bottle into a drawer.  
He jumped when the door burst open again. Loki whirled and saw Thor haloed by the lamps in the hallway and relaxed slightly, but as his gaze fell on his brother's stomach his heart dropped into his boots—there was a great bleeding hole in it.  
"I showed him…" Thor whispered, a small smile on his face. Loki gave a small shriek and raced forwards, gripping his brother's arm just as he fell to the ground.  
"Thor! Thor, keep your eyes open!" Loki gasped on the verge of hysteria, his gaze flying around the room for something to staunch the wound with. Finding nothing, he tore off his brother's cape and wrapped it around his belly, cinching it as tightly as he could before sitting him down against his desk.  
"Thor, listen to me!" Loki hissed, staring into his brother's bloodless face. "There is a blue bottle on my desk that will help you a little. I am going to find Eir and she shall patch you up," Loki explained as he backed away to the door. "Just, find it and drink it, okay?"  
"Very well," Thor muttered, pulling the cape tighter around his stomach. As he listened to Loki running off, he rolled onto his front and, gripping the cape as tightly as possible with his right hand, groped the surface of the desk, searching for the bottle Loki had told him about.  
_Where is it? _He thought wildly. _Loki said it was…_ A chill crept down his spine—_Loki has always been after the throne,_ a voice in the back of his mind hissed, _so maybe this is a trap!_  
He allowed his hand to drop, confused at what to do. _But, he did not sound like he wanted me dead, _he reasoned groggily, remembering his brother's cry and horrified expression. A throb from his gut forced him to think again. _Find the bottle,_ he thought decidedly, probing the desk again. Finding nothing, he groped for the drawers.  
He blindly rifled through papers, ink stones, blotters and quills through the three top drawers with no luck. Despite his makeshift tourniquet, a lot of blood was escaping his stomach and he knew that he didn't have much time left before he lost consciousness.  
He tore open the final drawer and felt into the very corners of it, sighing with relief when he finally felt a bottle beneath his fingers. He lifted it out and ripped the cork from the mouth, pausing only to confirm that the bottle was blue. He threw his head back and sculled the draught down, sighing with satisfaction and waiting for the tell-tale tickle of repairing flesh to begin.  
Only it didn't.  
Thor frowned and looked at the bottle—it was blue, just as Loki had described. Dread solidified in his chest, and he lifted the bottle to his nose. There wasn't the slightly sweet, flowery scent of the other recuperation draughts that Loki had given to him—rather, there was a heavy, bitter one.  
Thor felt terror dripping off the dread in his chest. _What have I done? What have I __DONE__?!_  
"Loki!" he gasped in terror. "_LOKI!_"  
He felt his chest tighten in panic. He told himself to take deeper breaths, but he couldn't. The guards weren't stationed outside the rooms that night, as they were all on alert for the possible war, and there was no-one near enough to him to help.  
"LOKI!" he screamed again in panic, squeezing the bottle in his free hand. He felt dizzy, and dropped the bottle to twist the cape more tightly around himself. He shuddered, sweat breaking across his body and he slumped forward, resting his head against the flagstones.  
"Loki," he whimpered, "_help_."  
His eyelids grew heavy, whether due to the mystery poison or the loss of blood he didn't know.  
"_Help_," he rasped again, just as he slipped into unconsciousness.

"Eir, _please_, hurry!" Loki groaned, pausing at the end of the hallway and waiting for the Elder goddess.  
"I take the time that I need, Loki," Eir explained patiently, gliding forwards slowly.  
"But Thor is in peril! We have no time to waste!" He raced down the hallway and tore the door open. His eyes widened and he ran into the room shrieking.  
"_Thor! THOR!_" he yowled, pulling his brother out of the pool of blood that had accumulated since his absence. Thor wasn't moving.  
"EIR!" Loki screamed, lost in hysterics. "Eir, hurry!"  
The goddess flitted over to Thor's side, her expression focused. She drew out an apple from a pouch at her belt, as well as a small silver knife. She sliced the apple into tiny cubes, saying to Loki "Get me a jug of water."  
Loki leapt up from Thor's side and raced to the drinks table, but tripped on something roundish. The object skittered over to the table, which gave Loki an all too clear view of what it was…  
Knut's bottle.  
Despite the panic, Loki picked up the bottle and held it upside down. The last thick trickle of the aphrodisiac slipped to the floor, and Loki stared in fascinated horror.  
"Loki!" Eir snapped, breaking him from his reverie. "The water!"  
He hurled the bottle to the floor and grabbed the first jug he could reach—if Thor died, he would rip Knut's eyes out—and raced back to his brother's side.  
Eir tipped the apple pieces into the jug, swilled them around, then gently poured the mixture down the king's throat. Loki sat in terrified silence, chewing his cheek in worry. Blood soon filled his mouth, but he didn't stop. _Penance for what I have done to him_, he decided.  
The next minute of waiting was the longest in Loki's life.  
Finally, Thor's eyelids fluttered open.  
"What… Where…?" Thor mumbled, frowning in confusion at the canopy of Loki's bed.  
"You are in Loki's chambers. You fainted due to blood loss from a wound in your stomach. If it weren't for Loki, you would be dead." Eir told him gently.  
Loki averted his eyes. _It is probably wise to not tell Eir about the other bottle. _  
Thor rubbed his face, finally allowing the bloodstained cape to fall from his hands. "My deepest thanks, Eir. And to you as well, Loki," he mumbled from behind his hands.  
"It was nothing, Thor," Eir smiled, "but I do not think that you should sleep by yourself this evening. Loki, could Thor stay with you tonight?" she asked. "Recovery from such a wound is often temperamental, and Thor might suffer… repercussions, during the night."  
Loki felt his cheeks go red. Having Thor in the same room as himself was bad enough, but a weak, helpless Thor who had swallowed an entire bottle of aphrodisiac… this situation would be impossible to escape from. Swallowing, he nodded reluctantly. "What must I do?"  
Eir smiled gratefully again and pulled out a pair of apples from the pouch at her belt. "If the wound reopens, make him eat at least half an apple. If it gets any worse, for example if he faints or froths at the mouth, give him an apple and then call for me. It would not be surprising if the wound is poisoned, however the apples should stop him from dying. The rest should take care of itself," she handed the apples to Loki, stood and brushed down her robe and padded to the doorway. She turned as she opened it, asking "Would you like me to get some food sent in for you?"  
Loki waited for Thor to roar "yes", as under normal circumstances he would have probably eaten an entire boar by now, so he was amazed when Thor whispered "No, no thank you."  
It struck Loki that Thor would probably get very hungry later, and he knew from experience that it was far from pleasant to wake up with Thor chewing on an extended limb in his sleep, so he asked Eir for a pot of stew to be brought in. She smiled a final time before disappearing into the hallway, and Loki sighed. His gaze fell back onto the bottle where it lay against the wall, and anxiety rippled through him.  
He held out his hand in the bottle's direction, and as it flew into his grip he turned to Thor.  
"Thor… did you drink from this bottle?"  
Thor's eyes opened blearily, and he struggled to see what Loki was holding up. "You said to drink from a blue bottle in your desk. That's a blue bottle, and it was in your desk, so why didn't it help me?" he asked confusedly. Loki swallowed and lowered his hand, mind racing. "There are lots of blue bottles in my desk, and—"  
Thor shook his head. "You need not explain yourself, Loki. I just want to know if there will be any lasting damage."  
"No, no, you just drank a—a sleeping draught," Loki invented wildly.  
"Are you sure? I feel… I feel a bit strange…" Thor replied unsurely, allowing his head to sink back down to the mattress.  
"Yes, it is normal to feel a bit strange. Just, wait a moment." To distract himself from the strange pangs of excitement flicking through him, Loki pushed the bottle down his sleeve and twisted his hand. The furs on the bed came to life, sliding from under Thor and flipping themselves on top of him. The plates of armor and stiff leather turned to liquid and slithered off of him, creeping across the floor into the corner of the room and reforming in neat piles, leaving Thor in a thin undershirt and soft trousers. Thor sighed in exhaustion and rubbed his face again, rolling his head to see Loki tucking the furs under the mattress.  
"When are you going to sleep, brother?" Thor mumbled, watching the Trickster's blank face as he worked. It struck him that Loki looked very tired and… "beat up" as the mortals would say—there were dark bags under his bloodshot eyes, his mouth curved downwards at the corners, and he was paler than usual.  
"Oh, after I have something to eat," he said vaguely, moving away from the bed to sit by the fire. "Go to sleep, Thor. There will be stew on the fire if you get hungry during the night."  
"Thank you for this, brother," Thor muttered, rubbing his cheek against the mattress and allowing his eyes to close.  
"It is naught, brother. Go to sleep." Loki said gently, and he lowered himself onto a lounge by the fireplace.  
Loki watched the fire and listened to Thor's breathing as it slowed, finally turning to snoring. The door opened quietly and a servant padded into the room with a large clay pot. She glanced at Thor's snoring form, then turned to the fireplace. Catching sight of Loki, she smiled and proffered the pot. He nodded and gestured to the fireplace. She moved over to the hearth and clicked the pot into place above the fire and, after giving a small salute to Loki, flitted back outside. Loki stood and, ignoring the stew, walked over to his bed, peeling off layers of garments and dropping them as he went. In his undergarments, he peeled back the furs on the bed and slipped between them, being careful not to bump Thor's outstretched arms. He pulled the skins up to his neck and snuggled closer to Thor, sighing in exhaustion. He lay in silence, watching Thor sleep, and glanced down at his stomach—the wound had healed somewhat, but the flesh was shiny and raw looking—and he felt his mouth turn down at the corners.  
"Oh, Thor," he whispered, tears slithering down his face.  
He sighed shakily and pushed a stray string of hair away from his brother's sleeping face. He took some deep breaths, calming himself enough to sleep. He closed his eyes and rolled over, away from Thor, but despite his tiredness he felt the need to stay awake. Frustration and sadness welled inside him, but he refused to cry again. He sighed again and rubbed his cheek against the mattress.  
"I only want you to be happy," he whispered, just as sleep overcame him.

Thor woke in the wee hours of the morning as if he had been shaken. He frowned and looked over to Loki, but he was facing the other way and snoring quietly. He allowed his head to loll back to its original position and frowned at the bed's canopy, trying to think of what would have woken him. His stomach let out an unhappy gurgle and he smiled in relief. He heaved himself upright, being careful not to wake Loki, when he felt it.  
The familiar tightness in his nether regions.  
A blush grew on his cheeks, and all his thoughts turned to his current situation. _Maybe I could sleep it away_, he thought wildly. He lay back down and shut his eyes, waiting for sleep to return, but it was useless—he was painfully aware of it now. He sat back up, taking deep breaths and trying to stop himself from panicking. _There is nothing for it_, he thought hopelessly, _I have to get rid of it. _He glanced at Loki. _It would be pretty awkward if Loki caught me_, he reasoned. _I had better get to the washroom._  
He slid his legs out of the bed, wincing as the soles of his feet kissed the icy floor. He heaved himself to his feet and started to walk…  
And fell to the ground with an enormous _crash_.  
Bewildered, Thor tried to push himself back up, but to his horror he found that he had no strength left in his arms. He tried using his legs to propel himself across the floor, but they too were unusually fatigued. Just as he began to truly panic, Loki's head appeared above him. He saw its shadow on the ground beside his outstretched hand.  
"What in the name of Yggdrasil are you doing down there?" Loki mumbled, rubbing his eyes.  
"I just… I was going to get some stew and I cannot… I cannot move!" he croaked. Another wave of worry swept through him—his throat felt thick and tight, constricting his voice. He loathed the lethargy that infused his limbs.  
"What? How… can you get back up?" Loki asked, still half asleep and not fully believing what was happening.  
"I just, I just need to go to the washroom," he rasped, trying unsuccessfully to drag himself across the floor again.  
"Thor, get back into bed, you might open your belly again!" Loki hissed, crawling out of the furs to join his brother on the floor. He hooked his hands under Thor's armpits and tugged him to his feet, groaning under the sheer weight of the golden-haired giant. "Come on, Thor, use your legs!" he groaned, knees trembling with the exertion. He held Thor upright and waited for the weight to disappear from his trembling arms, but it didn't. Finally, and with a strangled cry, Loki's legs collapsed beneath him.  
The pair fell onto the bed, Loki trapped beneath Thor's enormous bulk. He squirmed and pushed against Thor's shoulders, believing Thor to be acting. "Get _up_, you great oaf!" he hissed, arching his back and squirming again.  
"I already told you, I cannot! I have no strength left in me!" Thor rasped, struggling to lift his head from where it rested on Loki's shoulder.  
Loki exhaled slowly, feeling his cheeks heat up. _Keep it together_, he intoned. He squirmed until his legs were freed from their entrapment, but his left came free to quickly and his knee bumped his brother's groin.  
He had expected some form of reaction, but the throaty gasp that Thor generated caught him completely off guard, not to mention the unusual hardness...  
He stared at Thor's face, and was slightly amused at how quickly his cheeks flared and his hand clapped against his mouth.  
"Thor?" Loki squeaked, his cheeks burning brighter than ever.  
"I—I did not—get me up, Loki!" Thor groaned in agonized embarrassment, his eyes squeezing shut.  
Loki took the hint and pushed Thor off him, down to the floor and flipped him so that his back rested against the bed. Loki sat in front of Thor, unable to avert his eyes. _It cannot be… No, it is true…_ He looked at his brother's face and his stomach jolted, confirming his notion. _Knut's potion is working!_  
All of Loki's class and understanding threw itself out of his mind and into the fire.  
"I—it's hard as stone," he whispered, mortified and yet longing achingly, his eyes sliding down to his brother's groin.  
Thor's face twisted with revulsion. "Do not say these things, Loki!" he yowled, his legs pulling up in a feeble attempt to avert Loki's eyes. "It is beyond my control, I just had a dream that… no, I mean that I thought about some…" Thor could tell that Loki knew he was lying. He gritted his teeth in misery. "I shall take care of it myself, just take me to the washroom!" he groaned.  
Loki's mind whirled. _Thor is powerless against me_, he realized. _I might never get a chance like this again…_  
"You have no strength in you, Thor," Loki murmured gently, his eyes roving across his brother's prone form. His hands rested on Thor's shoulders and he looked him in the eye. "You won't be able to do this alone," he said firmly, and it was true. Thor knew it too.  
"No, no I…" Thor muttered, trying to pry Loki's hands off him, "I do not want you to—NO, Loki!" he bellowed, smacking Loki's hovering hands away from him. "I do not want you to help me!"  
Loki cupped Thor's face in his hands and stared into his eyes. "It will be very painful, Thor, if you ignore it."  
"How many times, Loki? I do not want you to help me!"  
Loki sighed, and leant forward. His hands slid down to Thor's trousers, and began caressing the bulge gently. "I'm afraid that you have no choice," he whispered into his ear.  
He flicked his tongue along the curve of the ear and pulled back, his hands slipping inside the trousers. Gently, ignoring his brother's mortified gasps, he gripped Thor's manhood and moved his hands up and down, staring intently at Thor's muscular chest.  
"No! No, Loki, I do—aah," Thor moaned, his sentence breaking off in a trembling gasp. His breaths grew ragged, and despite his revulsion his hands gripped Loki's shirt as tightly as they could. Loki slowly picked up speed, still not fully believing that this was finally happening.  
Soon, too soon, Thor felt his spine tingle. He gritted his teeth as the tingling spread to his groin, and he arched his back with a strangled cry.  
"N—hah, haaa-AAH!"  
He sagged in his brother's arms, taking great heaving gasps. As he came back to himself, one thought rushed around his skull. _This cannot be! This cannot BE!_  
Loki pushed Thor back against the bed and pulled back, his hands glistening. He glanced at them, muttered a short string of words, and they were clean again. He looked at Thor.  
_That was rather quick, wasn't it?_ He thought, before remembering that Thor was under the influence of a potion. His gaze lowered, and with a small flicker of worry he saw that Thor was in no way diminished. _He needs more.  
_He lowered his head and pulled Thor's trousers off, tossing them to the corner of his room along with the rest of his brother's armor and leathers. His mouth opened and he took the entirety of the god in at once, gagging slightly as he caught the back of his throat.  
"N—no, Loki!" Thor stuttered, digging his fingers into the flagstones and gritting his teeth. "It'll go away once I get some sleep so leave i—IT, aaaah!" his head snapped back and he trembled. His hands spasmed, and despite himself they flew up to Loki's hair, seeking something softer and more yielding than the floor. Loki smiled slightly as he worked, sensing Thor slowly getting absorbed in the moment. His head bobbed rhythmically and his tongue flicked over the tip of Thor's manhood, sending shivers up his body and making him moan. Truly, Loki knew that Thor was not really enjoying this. He had made it clear that he was not at all attracted to men, but surely there was no harm in pretending that this was not the case.  
Thor pulsed in Loki's mouth, but Loki pulled back, pulling his shirt off and wiping the corner of his mouth, not giving him the satisfaction of finishing... yet. Thor's breathing was still heavy, and he lay before Loki shivering from the cold and the exertion, his eyes half shut from exhaustion but still staring fearfully at his brother. With a twitch of his fingers, Loki disintegrated his brother's shirt.  
"No," Thor croaked, "no more, Loki. _Please_,"  
Had Loki not been so painfully aware of his own arousal, he would have listened to the king. But it was far too late now.  
Loki flicked his fingers and muttered another string of words, and a glass jar appeared beside him. Pulling out the cork, he poured a small amount of floral-smelling oil over his fingers, being careful to spread it evenly, before crawling over to the god. Thor was staring at the fireplace all the while, refusing to even consider what might be happening. He didn't even notice Loki pushing his legs up to his chest until his knees bumped his chin, and by then Loki had already slid a delicate digit into his back passage.  
Thor's eyes bulged and he choked, writhing in pain. "Loki, no! No! It hu—"  
"Hush," Loki murmured, placing his left hand on Thor's lips, with his eyes dark and intense, drinking in the image of his brother squirming before him. Something twisted and malevolent in him enjoyed seeing his brother in pain. He found it slightly kinky. Slowly, he pushed, and then pulled, and again, push and pull. He inserted another digit and repeated the process, barely containing his excitement and feeling his breathing grow rough. Thor's face was one of silent horror, his throat working violently as he tried to voice his emotions.  
"Loki," he finally managed, his voice raspy and cracking, "stop. It is hurting me." He pushed at the Trickster's arm, trying to free himself.  
"Do not worry," Loki whispered unevenly, working faster, "I will soon find—"  
Thor's back arched and pleasure flooded through him, tearing a gasp from his throat. When he had recovered, he saw that Loki was smiling somewhat tiredly. "There it is."  
Thor shivered. Something was going to happen, and he wasn't going to like it. He could tell.  
Loki pulled back and slid his trousers off, uncorking the bottle again. Despite the severity of the situation, the most trivial thought crossed Thor's mind—_I have never seen Loki naked before…_ And despite himself, he found himself studying the trickster—pale porcelain skin, slender and yet muscular build, longish black hair and green eyes—but only from the waist up. He would not look at Loki's manhood. All of this was thought in the space of three seconds, and then Loki was back and lifting Thor's legs again.  
The movement spurred him into action.  
"Loki," he hissed urgently, as he felt the fingers push into his entrance again, "if you do not stop, then I will never be able to forgive you!" The intrusion disappeared, and Loki's face finally changed expression—to fear. Thor's heart fluttered with hope, but then Loki simply sighed and smiled sadly.  
"I highly doubt that you would forgive me if I stopped here," he muttered, and then thrust forward with his hips.  
Thor screamed in pain, but no sound emerged from his throat. Tears welled in his eyes and spilled down his cheeks, and his hands splayed on the flagstones. Loki swallowed and his eyes shut blissfully, letting go of Thor's legs and resting his hands on his muscular chest instead. Finally, the moment he had waited for was here. He pulled out a little, and then slammed back in with a soft smack. Thor gasped at the impact and this only drove Loki on. He thrusted again, grunting softly and another gasp arose from Thor. Slowly, gloriously for Loki but agonizingly for Thor he built a rhythm, his grunts turning to soft groans and Thor's gasps getting more ragged as the pain built.  
Loki was sweating profusely, and it seemed that Thor was too, but whether it was actually his sweat or Thor's he didn't know. He felt tingling growing in his spine, and he quickened his pace, not realizing that Thor was practically sobbing.  
Thor's hand attached itself to Loki's face, stopping him from continuing. "_It hurts!_" Thor rattled, voice completely shattered, his eyes wild with either pain or rage. "_Get OUT!_"  
Loki relented briefly, drawing himself out. Thor heaved a great, pained sigh, closing his eyes and shaking against the bed and the floor. Loki wanted to leave it there—he had already done enough to Thor—but his instincts would not allow him.  
He pushed back in, ignoring Thor's gasp of horror, and thrusted again, furiously. Tingling spread from his spine through to his groin.  
"Thor… I am so—huh, haaaa-aah!" And then the pinpricks were rushing all over his body in waves of pleasure. When he came back to himself, Loki let out a great trembling groan and moved his hips back, his chest heaving and gleaming with sweat. He leaned forward again, filling his lungs with Thor's sweaty scent and feeling for the first time in months, content.  
"Thor," he whispered, touching his brother's cheek tenderly and turning his face towards him. Thor stared at anything that was not his brother, trembling in pain and shock, his eyes full of tears.  
"Thor!" Loki whispered, stroking the god's stubble with his thumb. Finally, his gaze turned to Loki's, full of betrayal and confusion.  
Loki pressed his lips against Thor's, running his tongue against them. To his surprise and delight, Thor parted his lips, allowing Loki entrance. Rather reluctantly, admittedly, and probably just to stop Loki from doing "that" again, but he didn't care. _Thor was allowing him to commit an intimate act_.  
At that moment, Loki truly wished that morning would not come.

**So, this isn't the end of the story. It's got a while to go yet :) Again, if this story was not up to standard I apologize (most of it was written while I was in a stomach-twisting delirium) and I also apologize for the length of time it has taken to get this up.  
But yeah, thanks again for the awesome reviews. I love you guys! :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi again! So, thanks to a technology-savvy friend and Auto-Save, I found this again! It took a while, but I did. Sorry about the flip-out :)**

Loki drifted in and out of blissful sleep, feeling utterly content for the first time in months. He finally awoke to pale golden sunlight streaming into his bedchamber through the open windows, and never before had he felt so peaceful.  
A sleepy smile crossed his face, and he rolled away from the sunlight, nuzzling the mattress. _I slept with Thor,_ he thought slowly as his thoughts faded again.  
His eyes flew open and the peaceful feeling vanished. _I slept with Thor._ Memories of Thor shaking, begging and weeping flew before his eyes, and he felt his jaw go slack with horror.  
_By the branches of Yggdrasil… what have I DONE?  
_He sat bolt upright and scanned the chamber for any sign of his brother. The mound of his clothes had disappeared, and the door was ajar.  
Loki kicked the furs off of him and rolled out of the bed, his mind whirling. He hitched his trousers up and ran out to the hallway, bare feet skidding on the flagstones and goose bumps prickling on his skin.  
Thor's door was shut, and when Loki tried the handle he found it locked. He muttered a string of words under his breath and heard the latch click. He tried to open the door again, but there was something heavy stopping it from moving.  
_This doesn't bode well,_ Loki thought worriedly. Again he raised his hand and muttered rapidly, glancing down the hallway to confirm that he was alone—he knew that he was risking exile and punishment by using magic, but this was important—and listened intently. A loud scraping was coming from behind the door, as if Thor had pushed his entire bed against it. Loki pursed his lips in worry, silently cursing his past self. _Why didn't I show more restraint?_  
Finally, the door was clear. Loki threw himself into Thor's bedchamber, taking in the mess that was strewn across the flagstones and the sound of running water. He stood where he was, not trusting himself to move further into the room.  
"Thor?" he tried to say, but his voice cracked. Swallowing, he tried again. "Thor?"  
A dark thought slithered into his mind. _Maybe he drowned himself... _  
Under normal circumstances, Loki would have not thought of Thor as someone to commit suicide. But these were not normal circumstances, and Loki began to panic. He ran towards the washroom, Thor's name on his lips again.  
He heard Mjölnir before he saw it, and by then it was too late.  
The war hammer smashed into his face, and he felt his left cheekbone and nose break. He was thrown across the room with it, and it pinned him to the wall, sliding down his body and slowly crushing his stomach. He gurgled in pain and shock, one hand rising to his face to staunch the nosebleed that had started, the other trying in vain to push Mjölnir off him. He glanced up, and through his streaming eyes he saw Thor silhouetted by the golden lamplight in the washroom, bare chested and with a towel tied around his waist. He stood in silence and watched as Loki struggled, then raised his hand and called Mjölnir.  
Loki took a rattling breath, and coughed a small amount of blood—a quick internal check confirmed that his spleen had ruptured under the weight of Mjölnir. Despite his injuries, he glanced at Thor, and his fear was confirmed—the rage on his brother's face was unparalleled with anything he had ever seen before.  
"You—" Thor began, but his voice broke. He marched forwards, Mjölnir raised and his eyes glittering like molten rock. Loki shrank back from him, one hand pinching what used to be the bridge of his nose and the other being held out to his brother as if to placate him. _I am so dead, _was the only thought on the Trickster's mind.  
Thor stopped a foot away from Loki, breathing heavily through his nose. Loki braced for impact.  
"I thought that I had made it clear to you," Thor began, voice trembling, "that I am not…" His throat worked, but he was unwilling to say the word on his mind.  
"Gay?" Loki offered.  
"Yes," Thor snapped. "I trusted you. I believed that you had left this behind! And doing…" He trailed off again. "…_that_ to me has not done anything to change my mindset. You cannot turn milk to cheese!"  
Loki glanced at Thor in bewilderment, nose still gushing with blood. "Yes you can," he burbled nasally. "Ib's de only way."  
Thor waved his free hand, eyes still wild. "Bad example! My point is that whatever slim, _slim_ chance there was of me gaining feelings for you—"  
"Dere was a chance?"  
Thor cursed himself silently and took a steadying breath. "You misunderstand me," he hissed. "I do not want you. I do not want to be your lover. I do not want _anything more to do with you!_" The last few words of his sentence were shouted, and Loki recoiled. Enraged, Thor surged forwards, seized Loki by his forearms and dragged him to the doorway, hurling him from the room and slamming the door behind him.  
Loki smashed against the wall and sank to the floor, gagging on a mixture of blood and saliva, his injuries throbbing painfully. They hurt, but much less so than his mind, which was repeating Thor's declaration of hate. He struggled to remember how to breathe, pushing himself upright.  
_I'd best get out of sight,_ he finally decided, starting to slither back to his chambers. He heard someone approaching behind him, and he tried to scuttle more quickly, but his hands had become slick with blood and couldn't grip the floor. With a choked sigh he lowered his forehead to the ground and shut his eyes in defeat.  
"Loki?" Blagden's confused voice reached his ears, but he couldn't bring himself to answer.  
"Odin's eye! Loki, answer me!" The guard appeared at his side and rolled him onto his back, his face panicked. His gaze slid down the hallway, taking in the smeared trails of blood that marked his passage and his eyes widened. He turned back to Loki and icy blue eyes met with dull green.  
"What happened?" Blagden whispered.  
Loki blinked sluggishly, suddenly bursting into a violent coughing fit to displace a trickle of blood in his throat, beginning to panic when he couldn't draw breath. Blagden rolled him onto his side and tilted his head back, allowing the god's airway to clear.  
"Can you breathe?" Blagden asked after a few minutes of Loki gasping.  
Loki nodded and rolled onto his stomach, trying to push himself upright again but finding that he didn't have the strength nor the willpower. He sank to the floor again, wishing that Mjölnir had smashed into his temple or chest instead of his face.  
As if reading Loki's mind, Blagden stood and picked up the god, returning to Loki's bedchamber without uttering another word. He kicked the door shut and placed Loki on the bed, lowering himself to eye level with him.  
"Do you want me to bring Eir?" he asked softly.  
"No," Loki answered huskily, not making eye contact. _With any luck I'll die.  
_Blagden chewed his lip and stood up, holding still for a moment. Then he padded into the washroom, folded a face cloth and ran it under water, squeezing the excess out. He went back to Loki, who hadn't moved, and began to sponge the dried blood off of his face. At first, Loki did not want Blagden to stay— he suspected that he might burst into tears if the guard continued—but he allowed him to proceed. He was too sad to cry anyway.  
_How does everything go so wrong, all the time?_ He thought miserably. _I try to make things work for both of us, and it never happens according to plan… _His misery deepened. _Such a pathetic existence that I lead. Look at Thor—beloved king of Asguard, favorite son of Odin, surrounded by swooning women wherever he goes... He even has a day of the week named after him! And then me—adopted beast, good for nothing other than magic tricks and lies… No wonder he doesn't want me.  
_He swallowed, and made a sad noise subconsciously. Blagden paused in his cleaning, then hurled the cloth away in sudden rage. "Who did this to you, and why?" he snapped, eyes burning.  
Loki looked at him in surprise.  
"Do not lie to me! Do not even consider it!" Blagden snarled, radiating intensity. "I want to know who did this to you, _now._"  
Loki swallowed nervously, confusion and worry causing sweat to bead on his lip. His love for Thor stopped him from telling… at that very moment.  
"Why are you so curious?" He finally asked.  
Blagden swallowed nervously but didn't avert his eyes. "I am worried about you. I am worried that you are getting yourself into danger, and I cannot live with myself if I let this pass me by."  
Loki broke eye contact, just for a moment, and he decided to tell.  
He looked up, without making eye contact, and he whispered "I did it. With Thor. He was not…" he trailed off, growing unnerved by Blagden's subconscious look of shocked horror. "… willing, at first, but I was just doing it to help him because he drank an aphrodisiac by mistake and it would have hurt him to ignore it and I…"  
It struck him how pathetic his story sounded.  
"Y-you… _raped_ _your BROTHER_?" Blagden gasped, eyes nearly popping out of his head in horror.  
"No! No, I…" Loki began in mortification, but tailed off. The realization trickled through his mind like liquid razors, solidifying and cutting his senses. _I raped my brother. I raped him. I… _  
"Yes," Loki whispered in agony.  
"By Odin's eye…" Blagden moaned, rubbing his face with his hands. Loki started to shiver.  
"Did he do this to you?" he breathed from behind his hands, indicating his broken face.  
"Yes."  
There was a long silence. Finally, the guard's hands dropped and his eyes conveyed an intensity Loki would have missed if he were looking anywhere else.  
"Well," Blagden hissed, "listen to me. Are you listening?"  
Loki nodded vehemently.  
"You are to tell _no-one _of this. I will explain to Thor your… intentions, but as of this moment you are to have _no communication with him_. I have no idea what he might do." He stood up and moved to the door, calling over his shoulder, "In the meantime, get some rest—this has been just as much an ordeal for you as it has for Thor." He shut the door behind him, and Loki almost called him back—the loneliness was frightening, and the pain from his injuries returned in full force, along with the crushing guilt. He curled into a tight ball, desperately exhausted and yet wide awake. The numbness was fading, and he felt tears well in his eyes again. _What have I done?  
_Loki knew he wouldn't sleep, but he also knew that he wouldn't have the energy to move. He shivered and forced himself to crawl off the bed, padding to his desk. He pulled open drawer after drawer, searching for a sedative, finally locating a vial of powerful sleep-serum. He returned to the bed and curled on top of the furs, uncorking the vial and downing the contents in one gulp—normally, a couple of drops would cure the worst insomnia, but Loki was hoping to fall asleep for as long as possible, or at least until Thor was no longer angry.  
Almost instantly, Loki felt woozy. He clutched the cold vial to his bare chest, trembling in misery and sadness. The tears finally fell as he slipped into his drugged slumber, and he allowed his agony to show on his face before succumbing to the darkness.


	7. Chapter 7

Once Loki had been hurled from the room and the door slammed shut, Thor wanted to pull him back in—the look of terrified agony on his brother's face was heartbreaking, not to mention the copious amounts of blood, and he felt his protective instinct struggle against his pride.

His pride won, as always, and he turned away from the door and moved back to his bath.

Despite the unseasonal heat, Thor shivered as slipped into the tub, towel and all. He winced as his rear bumped against the metal, and swore silently as the infernal throbbing returned.

_Why did he do this to me?_

He sat in the water, completely still, as flashes from the early morning ordeal flashed before his eyes- The begging. The shock. The look on Loki's face. The roughness…

Thor frowned slightly. No, it hadn't been rough. It was just… insistent. He swallowed. Rough or not, he hadn't been prepared for it, for any of it—the suddenness was too overwhelming, and he definitely wasn't prepared for Loki's skill. It creeped him out, thinking that Loki had done… that before.

Thor's eyes widened slightly, then he shook his head. _This moping isn't helping! _He trembled, nose filling with the smell of the ordeal and Loki's lust. He turned on the hot water again, slithering until he was under the flow. He sat up and allowed the scalding gush to wash over him, waiting for it to warm him.

It didn't.

Thor continued to shiver.

For the second time that morning, Thor's door burst open, but it wasn't a wild-eyed, bare chested Loki standing in the entry—it was one of Loki's guards.

"Your majesty!" came the call, but Thor didn't answer—his mind was detached from his frozen, scalded body.

"Sir?" Blagden repeated, padding into the room cautiously. He could hear water dripping, and the thought that occurred to Loki occurred to him. He ran to the washroom door, and the temporary relief at seeing Thor sitting up was immediately overwhelmed by his horror at the bright red colour and blistering of his skin._ He must be sitting under boiling water! _The thought jolted him into action.

Blagden surged forwards with a strangled yelp, not noticing the thin layer of water that coated the flagstones, and twisted the tap with such vigor that it almost popped off the wall. Thor was trembling, his skin swollen, tight and angry, and he was not answering.

"In the name of—Thor!" Blagden screamed, heaving the golden haired giant from the bath and dragging him onto his bed. Against the furs, Thor looked especially piteous. Small trickles of blood seeped from the worst burns.

All of Blagden's knowledge in the medical field vanished in a puff of Loki-colored smoke. Thor's eyes were open but weren't moving, and his body was continually wracked with violent shivers. His skin was steaming.

_Cold water._ The thought came from nowhere, but it filled the guard with a sense of urgency and purpose. It was something to do, anyway. He ran to the drink table and grabbed all of the tankards he could hold, shuffling back and upending them over Thor's prone form. His eyelids flickered, but he didn't move.

Blagden continued to drench the god, beginning to mutter conspiratorially to the silent figure. "Come on, sir, come back. It's okay. You're alright…"

Slowly, Thor's mind returned. He blinked slowly, swallowed and licked his lips.

"C-cold," was the only word he could manage.

"Oh," Blagden gasped in relief, going weak at the knees. Before he sank to the ground he wrapped the fur around Thor's shaking body, being careful not to touch the skin too hard.

Thor was staring at the canopy above his head in confusion, not having the faintest clue as to where he was or what he was doing there. He recognized Blagden's voice and millions of questions whirled around his head, but his tongue was too swollen and his will too sluggish to ask all but one.

"Loki?"

"He's in his chambers, asleep, I think," Blagden answered quietly from the floor. His feeling of rage for the damage he had inflicted on Loki vanished when he heard Thor's tone.

Blagden felt a dire need to change the subject.

"Why were you in the bath?" He asked finally, feigning ignorance.

"I could not get warm, nor get the stink out." Raspy tone, hollow voice.

_Shock_, he thought. _Now is probably not the best time to ex—_

"Why?" Thor whispered. "Why did he do this?"

Blagden swallowed, sensing danger. "Do what, sir?"

"You know." It was not an accusation, merely a statement of fact, but it smacked with sadness.

It was at that moment that Blagden realized that Thor wouldn't be able to, in his current state, take in the long and complicated explanation that he had concocted, and that he didn't have the will to give it. He stood and walked to the door, feeling that if he lingered he'd end up with a collapsed face of his own when Thor recovered from the numbness.

Just as he opened the door Thor asked again. "Why?"

Blagden paused, one hand on the latch.

He didn't turn, but said loud enough for him to hear and understand:  
"Because he loves you."

He shut the door behind him, leaving a burnt, sad and very confused Thor alone.

Blagden took an enormous swig from the tankard of ale in his hand, utterly miserable. Neither Thor nor Loki had emerged from their chambers all day, and no servants had gone in or out. The only person who had seen both of the gods that day was Eir, and that had been done in secret. Blagden had convinced her to patch them up, but also to tell no-one of their afflictions. That was another reason why Blagden liked her— she never asked questions.

He slid down the wall with a drawn out sigh of defeat, tuning out the soft whimpering coming from behind Loki's door. It had started about an hour ago, but Blagden knew better than to go in—Loki needed time to think.

His misery deepened. _Why does he do this to himself?_ He thought. _Of all the people in Asguard and Midgard, why did he fall in love with the person who is least likely to love him back?_

An idea occurred to him, but he shook it away and drowned it with another swig.

_No. That's the last thing that he needs right now…_

He rubbed his face with his free hand, heart aching. _Why can't he just go look for someone else? Someone who isn't his brother, someone free of controversy… _

Blagden allowed his hand to drop. _Now isn't the right time,_ he thought. _I'll wait until he's ready. _  
The guard set down his tankard and toyed with the tip of his staff, heart clenching painfully when he heard Loki begin to sob.

_It's going to be alright, Loki,_ Blagden thought, desperately hoping that Loki would hear and understand. _I won't let anything happen to you. I swear._

Loki continued to weep.


End file.
